side note: I think BMI and percentage of body fat are fair measures to get in the ballpark of a healthy weight, but everyone has a very personal optimum weight that means they are at a low risk for weight-related ailments and that their joints are built for. Mine is 135 and I haven't seen that number since I rode the AIDS Lifecycle four years ago (yes, dammit, I rode from San Francisco to LA on a BIKE to raise money and awareness for the AIDS). But then there's also one's dream weight, which may or may not be a practical aim but that I still crave. I haven't seen 125 on my scale in about 7 years. But it's not the best weight for me from a conventional beauty standpoint... My hip bones jut out and my eyes look a little sunken. But I love that look.
But here I am, still at my same 142 lbs of untoned relaxation.
I have to face the facts: I'm at a plateau, which means I can't just continue to coast along losing weight effortlessly, just by the sheer exuberance of living on my own and not having a TV around. If I want to lose more weight, I have to change my diet, activity levels, or both.
But then I have to ask myself what brings me most joy: not caring about how I look and just eating whatever and doing whatever, or being thin.
And of course THAT begs the question: who am I doing this for anyways?
I'm not doing it for David (though he always would rather go out to nachos and margaritas than have me on my diet). I'm not doing it to attract the next mate (frankly, I think I'd be ok if I didn't meet anyone for a year or more). I'm not doing it for my health (I'm within the healthy range). I'm not doing it for my career (let's face it: people discriminate against overweight people. It's retarded, but it happens... And I'll be damned before I let something so easy to fix get in the way of my career growth... I'll leave that to the big things like not having an MBA). My friends would like to never hear me bitch about my weight again, but other than that, they couldn't care less. My family does care, but I don't care if they care about my weight, 'cause it isn't their business.
So... ... Who?
And am I significantly happier as I watch the numbers on the scale drop every day?
Do I feel better thin?
Do I overall ENJOY LiFE more as a thin person?
Do I enjoy life more as a thin person than I enjoy crepes in beushamel sauce (sp?) and drinks with my friends?
I'll be honest. Until that last bullet, I was thinking, "hell yes I'm happier and I enjoy life more as a thin person!" but then there's the heavy foods and cocktails, which are my downfall...
I think the bottom line is this: if I eat perfectly 90% of the time and only have cocktails and fatty foods once or twice a month, then I can enjoy both. This means no Snickers at work and no uncelebratory cocktails (last weekend was a planned event, much like my birthday is next month... Christmas, New Years, and a visit to Lake Hughes isn't celebration enough).
And why? This sister is doing it for herself.